A mother of two, a wife of one and a woman in search of a strong cocktail
02/14/12A little love...For those of you who may know Husband personally and question Him while he is out and about with the common-Dude, how can you let her write that about you?-you need to know a few things about Husband; first, he knows who he married and she has been making him squirm with sometimes inappropriate laughter for almost 9 years. Also, Husband is a pretty confident man and a few jokes about his inability to close closet doors isn’t really going to shake him up too much. But most importantly, what you may not know about Husband is that HE LIKES THE ABUSE. He admitted as much to me the other day when he said my blog is funnier when I am making fun of him. To which I immediately replied...No problemo! And also...um...honey...you know if you give me an inch, I... |
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02/08/12Playing FavoritesHave you ever wondered if your parents had a favorite child and if so...was it you? I was the youngest, so clearly I believed that I was the favorite even though I got picked on the most and my brother farted on my head. My sister was the oldest and I’m pretty sure she thinks she got gypped because she had to be Responsible and Babysit Us On Her Summer Vacation. Also, she was the guinea pig of the bunch...I mean...the oldest has to be, right? My brother...well, he was the middle and the only boy, so, you know, he was the Handsome Hero. Who farted on my head. (Did I mention that?) Then there was yours truly, who will forever be remembered for sitting on a banana in the car while on Pike’s Peak in Colorado and also the fact that I once... |
01/31/12Training Day(s)Recently, as I began the potty training process with Daughter, I was quickly reminded that there is Potty Training and then there is Poop Training. Potty training is all M&M’s and Unicorns but Poop Training is more like hellfire and rodents. Now, this is only my experience as I understand that there are kids in this world who just ...go poop...in the toilet...like it’s NO BIG DEAL. (Flashback to Poop-Training Son: saw a friend with his boys at the park and his son had just taken a poop. In the park bathroom. With no trauma inflicted on either party. I. Was. Amazed.) I held out a very small sliver of hope that Daughter would just poop like a normal person on the toilet and we would laugh and dance about how wonderful and easy... |
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01/26/12Unplugged (?)Lately I have been pondering with the idea of pulling an Oprah on my kids and denying them the pleasure and magic that is television. Really, the only thing stopping me is because I know how painful it will be. For me. Now, if you are one of those parents who’s kids “don’t watch TV,” well, let me be the first to congratulate you. And then call you a dirty little liar. I’m sorry to call you names, but I have a hard time believing that there is no TV. But also, if it is true that you are so magnificent and wonderful that your kids do not watch or need television for you to maintain moments of sanity, well, then, calling you names makes me feel better about myself. (And I worship you.) No matter how much or how... |
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01/19/12And now...what?I sat here for some time staring at a blank computer screen wondering how to start this post, which is exactly what this post is about. Where to start. How to start. Again. For the past five years, my daily existence has been one consisting of parks, snacks, diapers, potty training, tantrums, maintaining sanity, sleep training, tantrums, bribery, board games, library trips, lots and lots and lots of walks, and the occasional tantrum. And while it’s been hard and lonely at times, it has mostly been wonderful and I feel so grateful that I have had this time with my children. While my kids are still young, in just a couple of short years they will both be at school full time and that forces me to wonder...what’s next? Where... |
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01/12/12I love you, I love you not, I love you...Here’s a secret: right now I’m thinking about Food. In ten minutes, I’ll still be thinking about Food. Two hours ago, I was thinking about Food. What I ate for breakfast, what is available for lunch, what should we have for dinner? Will The Offspring be completely offended if I dare serve chicken that is not breaded? What if I put peas on the plate? How many calories are in that slice of bread? Wait, no...no bread. God, I miss bread. Do we have snacks? Did I pack snacks? My stomach is growling. Did I remember to eat breakfast? Crap. I forgot breakfast. It’s 2 pm, maybe I could eat lunch now? Do I have the makings for a salad? Why is Trader Joe’s out of the chicken... |
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01/06/12And then He was Five...Five years old. My firstborn, my son, is now a five year old boy. It seems to be a magical age...I remember my 5th birthday and the pink bike I received...as I remember so many things about being a whole five years old. Each time I look at my son, I can’t help but wonder if this...this moment...is a moment that will be imprinted in his memory forever. Will he remember back tickles and renditions of Babymine at bedtime? Or the bunk beds he shares with his sister? Maybe his first skateboard. I wonder, if as a grown man, he will return to the park by his boyhood home and stare at the tree he so lovingly climbed and say to himself...it seemed so big when I was a boy. I am constantly amazed at the things he can now do for... Posted at 12:03 PM | Permalink | Comments: 5 |
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01/03/12New Year, New RulesIt's a New Year. There are a few changes I'd like to make. For other people. Happy New Year! Posted at 01:49 PM | Permalink | Comments: 16 |
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12/29/11How to feel Good againI’m going through one of those spells right now where every minute of the day feels a bit like torture. Okay...maybe not every minute...but the point is...everyone is kind of an asshole right now. And by everyone I mean The Offspring. Posted at 04:29 PM | Permalink | Comments: 6 |
Have you heard? Raising kids (and husbands) is hard work. Kids are cute, but kind of a pain in the ass and husbands have a difficult time, you know, closing drawers and loading the dishwasher correctly. Take a break, read my blog, and know that you are not alone. For all your gelato needs, check out 
